From Kaz Cooke’s “The little book of household madness”.
Oil your gardening tools regularly. If you run short of butter, you can just rub your bread rolls over the secateurs.
Clean out the gutters every couple of weeks, applying household bleach with a toothbrush to get them really gleaming.
Pruning: why not hack into the garden every time you’re in a bad mood? A chainsaw will give you that extra oomph. If very annoyed, douse trees with petrol and set alight.