Monday Lifelines

Lawyer jokes found in “Shite’s Unoriginal Miscellany” by A. Parody

Q: ‘Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?’
A: ‘No.’
Q: ‘Did you check for blood pressure?’
A: ‘No.’
Q; ‘Did you check for breathing?’
A: ‘No.’
Q: ‘So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?’
A: ‘No.’
Q: ‘How can you be so sure, Doctor?’
A: ‘Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.’
Q: ‘But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?’
A: ‘It’s possible he could have been alive, and practising law somewhere, I suppose.’


Q: ‘How was your first marriage terminated?’
A: ‘By death.’
Q: ‘And by whose death was it terminated?’

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