Monday Lifelines

Went to a book sale last week and picked up a couple of new “humorous” books.
From “Foolish Words” by Laura Ward.

We apologise for the error in last week’s paper in which we stated that Mr Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr Dogbody was a detective in the police farce. Correction notice in the Ely Standard, Cambridgeshire, England.

Gravity is a seriousness. If it were to cease, we should all die of laughing. Schoolroom blunder, 1920s.

Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies, and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. Examination paper gaffe, reported by Richard Lederer in his book, Anguished English.

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