SATURDAY COOKING: CLASSIC CHRISTMAS CAKE

A very simple recipe I found years ago. No photo for this, I leave it up to your imagination…

1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
6 drops lemon juice
some nuts
4 large eggs
1 tsp baking powder
4 cups mixed dried fruits
1 or 2 bottles of whisky

Method:

  1. Sample whisky to check quality.
  2. Select a large mixing bowl.
  3. Check the whisky again as it must be just right. To ensure the whisky is of top quality, pour 1 large glass and drink fast. Repeat.
  4. With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp of sugar and beat again.
  5. Meanwhile, check the whisky is still top quality by crying another tub. Repeat.
  6. Add 2 large eggs, 2 cups  dried fruit and beat till high. If the fruit gets stuck in the beaters, push it loose with a drewscriber.
  7. Sample whisky again, checking for consistency.
  8. Next sift 3 cups of salt – or anything, it really doesn’t matter.
  9. Whample the whisky.
  10. Sift half a pint of lemon juice. Fold in the chopped butter and stained nuts. Add 1 tablespoon of brown sugar, or whatever colour you find and mix well.
  11. Drink remaining whisky.
  12. Grease oven and turn cake into pan at 200 degrees. Pour everything into the coven and go to bed.
  13. Eat!

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