From “The little book of diet and exercise” by Kaz Cooke.

For today’s purpose, the five food groups are beer, sandwiches, Mars Bars and a banana.

Cellulite is caused by spiritual poisons in the body, and can be removed using witchcraft. Or you can entice the toxins from your body by wearing bicycle shorts made of seaweed, which act as a magnet.

Stand in front of a door, using two hands to grasp the doorknob. Now open the door. Now close it. Repeat 567 times.

Watermelon is a great breakfast diet food because it’s mainly water. Or you can simply glance at some rind.