You may not be aware that Eurovision took place last night in Vienna, Austria. And if this the case, what can I say? Your life must be indeed very dull and boring…
Let me explain: about 40 European countries (including Israel…) compete in a giant song contest, trying to win a shiny trophy. Gigantic stage with enough lights to give epileptic fits to any sane person, performers surrounded by ice skaters and acrobats, wind effects in bouffy hairdos and songs ranging from electro beats to dull ballads to operatic tunes.
And let’s not forget the clothes! Sometimes, I wish I could sing and go on stage and wear one of those glittery feathery diamante plunging neckline dress with a train, a beard and a pair of Viking boots!
Alas, it will never happen. Live on stage. But, if I had had the chance last night, this is what I would have worn to celebrate the one and only participation of Australia in the 60th Eurovision song contest!
Start with a velours coat and a purse.
Wear a sequin dress.
Pick the right shoes.
Accessorise with jewellery.
Over-accessorise with a hat, sunglasses and a wig.
Completely go overboard with cheerleader thingies.
This will give you douze points for sure!